748 miles.

ventura, california. ventura, california. ventura, california.

ventura, california is where he's going. 748 miles away. for 730 days. that's 24 fast sundays. that's 104 weeks. that's so many seconds and minutes and hours that i am going to be away from him and he's going to be away from me. it's two years of letters and notes and little packages and thoughts about how he's doing and where he is and what he's thinking.  that's 24 months of my secret conflicting wishes that he's thinking of me and his duty at the same time.  that's 17,520 hours of baking cookies that will taste like tin by the time they get to him, traveling to california and wishing that i could see him, school with boys that i pretend to like. it's college, it's family, it's changing dreams and changing culture. it's new movies that i won't see with him and sentences that i'll have to hold in my immediate "that's what she said" because he's the only one who understands. it's the absence of his cologne and the farewell to his constant guitar playing. it's the text messages that lower and the free phone minutes that raise. it's the concerts with different people that i don't know how to sing around, and the tim mcgraw loving that will seem to disappear. it's two entire years. two years that everything will change.

it's two years we can make it through, me in the snow and him on the beach. it's two years that will make me better at letter-writing and package sending. it's two years of figuring out myself and him becoming a bigger man. it's only two years. it's only 24 fast sundays and 17,520 hours. it's only that long.

only two years and 748 miles.

b.