all the posts from love, brittani have been transferred to this here blog for documenting purposes only.  my real blog is still at love-brittani.blogspot.com. go there to follow me now.

have a lovely day!

xoxo, britt.


sometimes it takes becoming completely lost to find who you really are.


all i know is you said hello, your eyes look like coming home.

he has a smile that tends to light up his entire face, and the entire world.  it's contagious, that smile. when he laughs, it isn't just a little chuckle, his entire body gets into it. he throws his head back in a way that makes everyone smile. he tortures me, really. he looks at me in a way that makes me wonder what in the world it would feel like to kiss him and when he even bumps me, it leaves a trail of fire.  goodness, that boy. honestly, though, i can't even get up the nerve to really talk to him.  maybe it's because he's so perfect. yeah, that's probably why. i don't even know what to say, where to start, what to begin with. until i think of how to spark something, i'll continue hoping he sits by me at dinner and i'll resume thinking of that smile. oh, the smile.

i'm hopeless.

life, lately.

one. let me introduce you to my best friend, sydney. she makes me laugh when i'm really sad and we eat brownies together when we're homesick. people ask us if we're sisters and we just laugh cause we'd be fine if we were. we watch the walking dead and tell secrets like we're five. i love her to death.
two. i've been watching the sex in the city marathon all day today. judge me.
three. we swim cal berkely in the morning, and yes, they have been national champions for the past two years.
four. sydney, paolina and i are being the kardashian sisters for halloween. our upperclassmen are trying to teach us how to give the facade that we have boobs. 
five. college is great, my friends are lovely, and life is better when you're hanging out the car window.

have a lovely weekend, everyone.

christ's infinite atonement.

this is what i needed. maybe it's what you need, too.

It is my testimony that many of the deepest regrets of tomorrow can be prevented by following the Savior today. If we have sinned or made mistakes—if we have made choices that we now regret—there is the precious gift of Christ’s Atonement, through which we can be forgiven. We cannot go back in time and change the past, but we can repent. The Savior can wipe away our tears of regret and remove the burden of our sins. His Atonement allows us to leave the past behind and move forward with clean hands, a pure heart, and a determination to do better and especially to become better.

-president uchtdorf


oh, you're in my veins.

it was enchanting to meet you.

i read all our facebook messages today. every single typed line exchanged from the day we met until the day you left. i thought it may give me some closure, something to tell me that everything would be okay. my eyes finally skimmed the last line of our messaging from last september and i closed my computer silently. i hugged my legs and put my chin on my knees because i knew, with every single fiber of my being, that i was wrong. i had nothing to take closure in because the last message i wrote was an apology for missing your final call. 

i know the words i want to tell you, but i don't know how. i don't understand how to do it right, how to make things right. i suppose i'll begin here, the place you cannot see. maybe someday, somehow i'll build the courage to show you this message, but for now i feel safer typing it away from you. for now, i'll keep it to me.

i just want to tell you i'm sorry. completely, overwhelmingly, incandescently sorry. i was selfish and i was wrong. when i read your words "i know you have him, but remember i'm always here for you." i died inside because, through everything, you're all i want.  and through each taylor swift song, each love movie, each wedding video i watch, it's still you.  it always has been you. since the day we met at that rugby game years ago, my mind hasn't altered. it's you. through everything in my life, you haven't wavered. through everything, you've been my steady.

and now, for once in my life, i have no idea where to go from here. all i know is when i hear taylor swift sing the words "please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting for you" my heart wrenches a little bit because it's me and it's you. and through everything that has happened, and through each lesson i have learned, you're still my man. 

let's pretend it's valentine's day so i don't sound as completely cheesy when i ask:

please (oh please oh please) be mine.