love and stuff.

i'll be blunt. i don't know love. i used to think i did, think that for a girl this young, i knew an awful lot about love. reminiscing on these last eighteen years lately has brought me to the realization i know absolutely nothing. i love my family, yes, i love my family with everything i have. i know that kind of love, but the kind of love i'm speaking of is the kind people write novels about, the kind that has glued my grandparents together for over sixty years, the kind of love that i see on my own pinterest wedding board.  yes, of that kind of love, i know nothing.

i suppose i'd like to believe love can be defined so easily as each facebook status defines it.  they say true love is when a boy holds your hand in the parking lot and kisses you on the forehead for no reason whatsoever.  yes, i wish it was that simple.  unfortunately i've had a cute boy hold my hand in the parking lot. he's kissed me on the forehead for no reason at all, he's written me love letters, he's told me he'll love me forever. he wasn't love.

so here's the definition of love from a girl who has experienced too much of what love isn't. love isn't coarse.  it's not drunken sex, lust, or massage oil. love is gentle. it's pulling the weeds as he's mowing the lawn, it's lemonade on the back porch as the sun goes down, it's laugh lines and smile wrinkles.  it's hard work and some heartache. it's fighting and screaming and yelling and long nights without sleep. it's the knowledge that even with the fighting and screaming and yelling and long nights without sleep, he's the only one you want, forever and for always. it's having the good times far more than the bad times.  love is cuddling in bed until you're late for work and treat runs to the grocery store in the evening.  it's playing the piano while he gently lays on the sofa with his eyes closed.  love is when he makes you feel good about yourself, makes you want to be the best you you can be.  he grows with you, you grow with him, with love, you can take on the world together.  love isn't comparisons.  it's not the notebook, it's not your slutty love novel. love is yours and love is his and love is ours. he's the person who makes you the most you you could possibly be. love is you, it's me, it's us.

i don't know much about love. it's true. but one thing i do know is that when i find it, i'll know it. and i know it will be hard, but i also know it will be the most worth it thing in all the world.

what's your definition of love?