i'll be seeing you.

today i am thankful for eternal families.  two of my grandfathers passed away this year. my grandpa gary passed away february 20th after battling stage four pancreatic cancer and my great grandpa bob passed away june 29th.  i was laying in my bed this morning thinking of the wonderful knowledge we have. how wonderful is it that i know that i will see both of my grandpas again. i know they're together and having an amazing time partying it up in heaven. i know that when i die i will see them. i know all these things with such surety it amazes me.

my grandpa gary and i were really close.  i remember talking to him about some of my "boy" problems one night on his couch. he put his arm around me and told me that i was perfect.  we have always shared this wonderful connection.  my grandpa was one of my best friends.  my grandpa made an effort to come to every one of my swim meets, every one of my little piano recitals, my dance recitals. my grandpa was always there for me.  i have countless memories of our little special conversations, our games of pool soccer, water slides in idaho, swim meets in pleasanton.  my grandpa was such a prevalent figure in my life.  i always, always knew that he loved me.  in the last few days of his life he wasn't able to talk. i sat by his chair and he would hold my hand.  i said, "grandpa, i love you." and even though he was staring off into space, even though his voice could form no words, his hand squeezed mine tightly.

it has been really hard to have him gone.  my mind has realized that my precious grandpa will never be here with me again, but my heart hasn't accepted that reality yet.  my grandpa is just on a trip to me. and sometimes it hits me that he's not coming home. again, i'm so thankful that i believe what i believe. or should i say, i know what i know. i will see my grandfather again. he'll put his arm around me again and tell me that i'm perfect.  i know my grandfather will still be here for me. i know he'll be here at my wedding, he'll be here to be my children's great grandfather, he will be there at my big swim meets, he'll still be here.  i am so lucky, so SO lucky, to know what i know.

my grandpa gary was such an example to me, is such a great example to me.  he has taught me so much throughout my life.

i miss you grandpa, i love you.

to see his obituary and realize how truly wonderful he is, look here.

my grandpa bob and i were also  close. i have memories of him teaching me the alphabet backwards (i still can to this day), making rubber band balls, and him telling me of his horror "left-handed-child-in-the-olden-days" stories.  his hair was always classily slicked back, and he always had a happy smile on his face.  he has taught me so much. he was such a wonderful man. i love him and i will miss him.

to see his obituary, look here.

every single day, i am so thankful for my church.

b.