actions, my dear.

words. they're only letters, sounds that echo in your brain, syllables that stumble out your throat.  they're only lines on a paper and curves you draw with your pencil.  sometimes they mean so much and sometimes they mean absolutely nothing at all.  i have come to the conclusions that words don't mean anything without an action holding its hand.  the phrase "i love you" means absolutely nothing until it is shown and the word "cancer" doesn't bother anybody until they see it happening.  words aren't anything.  it's the hollow "i'm sorry" that takes away all the validity of the apology.  nobody is sorry until they try to fix it.

i sat at my table last night with a red pen in my hand and a contract lying on the table.  looking up, i saw the people who actually care, the people who actually love me. i saw eighty of my best friends.  i thought about the people in my life who say they love me, who say they will always be there for me, and through all the faces in the crowd, i didn't see any of theirs.  i saw the people who actually cared, the people who actually love me, not the people who proclaim to.  i'm so thankful for the people in my life that show their love by their actions.

my cousin came from salt lake by himself because he knew it was important to me.
my aunts and uncles and cousins drove thirty-five minutes at night because they knew it was important to me.
my friends came from homework, from meets, from young womens, from work because they knew it was important to me.
my family made cake and brought pizza because they knew it was important to me.
my best friend came right when she could because she knew it was important to me.
my friend came before voice lessons because she knew it was important to me.
my neighbors from my old ward took their time to come over because they knew it was important to me.
my uncle with a brain tumor tried to come but was so sick he couldn't, but he sent me a long, loving text because he knew it was important to me.

it's so funny to me how the people who make such a big deal about the "sorry's"  and the "i love you's" can't even do something so simple because they know it's important to me.  it's the people who don't necessarily say they love me, but show it that make the difference in my life.

thank you to everyone who supports me, and thank you to everyone who shows me you love me.

i couldn't ask for better friends.

i love you guys.

b.

a decision.

i just returned from the most amazing recruiting trip of my entire life.  people always say, "when you visit the school you're supposed to go to, you'll know. oh goodness how true it is.  i was so nervous about making my college choice, but everything fell together perfectly.

so all you student-athletes, you'll know. keep looking.

both of my options are amazing schools, but i'm so glad i picked the one that's right for me.

my favorite things about the university of utah: {by brittani}

1. the team.  i have never seen a college team more tight-knit.  they do everything together and are such great friends.  i adore the friend atmosphere at the u.  also, i've never seen a team that takes the term "swimming and diving" seriously.  the u truly is a swimming and diving team. the swimmers and divers do everything together, which really adds a new element to the swim team.  i love it.

2. the coaches.  the coaches are amazing.  it's a really young coaching staff, but they all have amazing amounts of experience and knowledge concerning swimming. i love the coaching staffs' dedication to the team.  they will do everything in their power to give every swimmer all the opportunities possible to achieve their goals.

3. the coaching's vision.  i feel like a lot of colleges only really look at your fastest time; the university of utah does not.  the u looks at many different factors: they look for your consistency, they look at your potential.  i love their vision. that is something i need in my coaching: coaches who have high goals for me, coaches who will help me accomplish them.

4.  campus.  oh heavens, could the campus be more beautiful? it's definitely the most beautiful campus i've ever been to.  the atmosphere is so fun, the buildings are so awesome, and it's only thirty minutes away from home which means my family can come visit me and come to my swim meets.  

5. academics.  while at the university of utah, i c ompletely changed my major. i went polar opposite, actually.  journalism to oncology. the university of utah school of medicine is one of the best medical schools in the country, and i get to learn there! i'm so lucky.

6. everything about it.  i cannot think of one thing i don't like about this school.  it is perfect for me, and i couldn't be more thrilled to be a part of it all!

go utes!

b.