country music, raindrops, and an old backroad.

yesterday my momma asked me what i wanted in a man. after listing off the eternity-long list that every girl has, i remembered something awfully important: my man must be silly with me.  immediately my mind wandered to monday night, driving home from cottonwood heights.  we had country playing far too loud and my voice was far too off key as we sang every word to that tim mcgraw song. we teased and laughed so hard i could feel a six pack coming on. we parked the car on a backroad and listened to the rain. for that moment, every single thing in my life was perfect, absolutely perfect. i love how he's silly.

"if it was you and me against the world, you get the car, i'll get the cash, we'll take the money and run."


b.

letters to crushes and other twitterpation-ridden activities.

"and i know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this way. and i miss you more than i should, than i thought i could. can't get my mind off of you, can't get my mind off of you."

here i am. lying on my stomach on my hotel room bed all alone listening to love songs and reading letters to crushes. i'm kind of missing someone terribly.

here are some of my favorite letters:

T,

You have been my best friend since we were 5. I fell in love with D and you helped me through it... but secretly you had fallen in love with me. When D and I ended, I was struggling. You helped me out. I cried on your shoulder. You slipped me notes to tell me to "cheer up or the sun would stop shining" in the middle of class...

After a while I moved on and I realized that God allowed what happened to happen because I was meant to fall in love with you.

I realized that I can see every freckle on your face if I close my eyes, that I can conjure up your scent anytime I want. I realized that I love how you use funny little words like "ain't" and that when you are texting or emailing me you use "lol" excessively... I can imagine you laughing at everything I send to you even though its not really very funny just like I do with the things you say to me. I realized that when I read something you send to me I can imagine your voice saying it. I realized that I have the way you walk memorized....

I love you T,

A

J -

I like how you play the piano and how you're always writing. I like your taste in the arts and culture. I don't pay much attention to the way girls dress but I happen to love the way you do it. I love your smile and the way your cheek crinkles when you grin. I like your wit and how I'll never measure up to it. I love how oblivious you are to your own intelligence. I love you, I love you, I love you.

A

it's been six years and it's finally happening.

you never know what can happen.

there's heat lightning outside flashing through the windows. i imagine if you take a microscope and take photos of my heart when i see you everyday, that's exactly what it looks like

Next time I see you, I'm going to kiss you. I don't care what you think. I don't care who's there. I'll wrap my arms around your neck for our usual hug, then I'll smile, stand on the very tips of my toes, as you are so tall and I so short, and I shall kiss you in a flurry of hope and adrenaline.

Maybe if I stopped thinking about you for like 2 seconds, I could actually do something productive.

hooray for letters to crushes! hooray for love and stuff.

b.

and sometimes... i wish i was in love.

i've never been in love.
sometimes i just want to feel what everyone is saying i'm missing.
i want that best friend.  someone i can trust with my soul with.
i want someone who cares about me to the ends of the earth.
i wonder if i'll know when i'm in love.
if i'll see him and know,  if i'll wake up one morning and know, or if it will take time.
sometimes... i wish i was in love.

b.

** p.s. i got this picture/quote from my dear friend elizabeth garces. she's a cutie.