country music, raindrops, and an old backroad.

yesterday my momma asked me what i wanted in a man. after listing off the eternity-long list that every girl has, i remembered something awfully important: my man must be silly with me.  immediately my mind wandered to monday night, driving home from cottonwood heights.  we had country playing far too loud and my voice was far too off key as we sang every word to that tim mcgraw song. we teased and laughed so hard i could feel a six pack coming on. we parked the car on a backroad and listened to the rain. for that moment, every single thing in my life was perfect, absolutely perfect. i love how he's silly.

"if it was you and me against the world, you get the car, i'll get the cash, we'll take the money and run."


b.

happiness and such.

i believe that anybody can be truly happy. if you want to be happy, be. the only way to true happiness is being honest with yourself, no matter the situation. happiness is thinking through your actions and making decisions that will benefit you in the long run, not just satisfy your immediate appetite. happiness is finding someone that you love to death and spending forever with him. happiness is what you make your own life. i believe happiness is a choice.

i am happy.

"when i was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. when i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down 'happy'. they told me i didn't understand the assignment, i told them they didn't understand life."
-John Lennon 


b.

sorry oregon, but it's time for me to head back to utah.

hello. my name is brittani and i am terribly, terribly homesick.

...the worst is having one billion and twelve things to say about this homesickness and realizing who reads this blog. off to my journal!

all i have to say is: thank you, (you know who you are), for being the best friend in the entire world and helping me through my crazy times. i'll make you a cupcake.

b.

letters to crushes and other twitterpation-ridden activities.

"and i know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this way. and i miss you more than i should, than i thought i could. can't get my mind off of you, can't get my mind off of you."

here i am. lying on my stomach on my hotel room bed all alone listening to love songs and reading letters to crushes. i'm kind of missing someone terribly.

here are some of my favorite letters:

T,

You have been my best friend since we were 5. I fell in love with D and you helped me through it... but secretly you had fallen in love with me. When D and I ended, I was struggling. You helped me out. I cried on your shoulder. You slipped me notes to tell me to "cheer up or the sun would stop shining" in the middle of class...

After a while I moved on and I realized that God allowed what happened to happen because I was meant to fall in love with you.

I realized that I can see every freckle on your face if I close my eyes, that I can conjure up your scent anytime I want. I realized that I love how you use funny little words like "ain't" and that when you are texting or emailing me you use "lol" excessively... I can imagine you laughing at everything I send to you even though its not really very funny just like I do with the things you say to me. I realized that when I read something you send to me I can imagine your voice saying it. I realized that I have the way you walk memorized....

I love you T,

A

J -

I like how you play the piano and how you're always writing. I like your taste in the arts and culture. I don't pay much attention to the way girls dress but I happen to love the way you do it. I love your smile and the way your cheek crinkles when you grin. I like your wit and how I'll never measure up to it. I love how oblivious you are to your own intelligence. I love you, I love you, I love you.

A

it's been six years and it's finally happening.

you never know what can happen.

there's heat lightning outside flashing through the windows. i imagine if you take a microscope and take photos of my heart when i see you everyday, that's exactly what it looks like

Next time I see you, I'm going to kiss you. I don't care what you think. I don't care who's there. I'll wrap my arms around your neck for our usual hug, then I'll smile, stand on the very tips of my toes, as you are so tall and I so short, and I shall kiss you in a flurry of hope and adrenaline.

Maybe if I stopped thinking about you for like 2 seconds, I could actually do something productive.

hooray for letters to crushes! hooray for love and stuff.

b.

what's up in july.

reading... currently i'm reading the hiding place. it's depressing. i think i'll go back and read a tree grows in brooklyn again. it's my favorite book of all time.

making... i just made some soup in a cup because i'm in a hotel room. it was some good soup in a cup.

listening... hazy by william fitzsimmons and rosi golan. one of my favorite songs right now.

watching... project runway. no comment.

loving... we all know who i'm loving.

trying... to be a better person who gossips less and is optimistic more.  i think things would be happier.

how's your july?

b.

britt and difficulties.

so, i have to update the video for the feed every day because each day it  is different links. probably doesn't make any sense, but it makes sense to me.  so. moral of the story, the video will be yesterday's feed until after i'm done swimming today because i'll be at the pool when the link posts. make sense?  so essentially it's pointless.

to watch my races today, as many of you are asking, follow the directions below.


1. go to ihigh.com
2. go to broadcasts in the top navigation bar. DON'T click on it, a dropdown menu will come up.
3. click on... i think it will be SCS Sectionals. it will say it's live from portland. that is me!

swimming today.
100 free: possibly kim welch, adam mason
200 breast: ME, nathan bramhall, sam blackburn
200 back: chris neilson
200 fly: dani vaughan, kim welch
medley relay: hast, hast

so, that's it if you're wanting to watch us! text me if you have any questions, i probably won't have my phone. but try anyway!

b.

hello, oregon. how i love thee.

today i landed in the wondrous state of oregon. i am here at mt. hood community college for a big swim meet named sectionals. i just returned from the pool after warm ups, and i'm headed back in approximately 45 minutes to race... eek.  there's something about oregon that i absolutely love. i mean, i'd end up awfully depressed if i lived here with all this rain and the sky consistently overcast, but the time i spend here is lovely.  i love all the green and the beautiful coast. oregon is just lovely.

now, on to the swimming. this is my fourth time at this meet. i love this meet. there is a definite difference in skill level, which makes everything so much easier.  you get in the pool for warm ups and it's almost expected that you run someone over. there aren't any small children that take up the wall, which is a definite bonus. all the technology is new and efficient. the competition is crazy. everybody is so fast and accomplished. i love it. i love the feeling and the atmosphere.

this sectionals is more significant than the others because of one thing: the goal.  every other sectional meet i have been to, i have been reaching for a faster time.  this sectionals i'm reaching for one thing: a nationals cut.  sometimes it stresses me out to think about, but now i realize i have put in all my work. i have dedicated my life to this goal, and i can achieve it.

i am so privileged to be here. i am in a beautiful state with a lovely team and supportive coaches. i have everything i need to accomplish every goal i have. i love everyone. that's the gist of things. life is dang good, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

b.

p.s. the video above is the meet i'm swimming at currently. it's live feed. thank you all, have a nice day.